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_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
> Subject: Things you wondered about, but too embarassed to ask.
>
> Who Knew??? Manure - (defined)
> In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to
> be transported by ship and it was also before
> commercial fertilizer's invention, so large
> shipments of manure were common.
>
> It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a
> lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit
> it, it not only became heavier, but the process of
> fermentation began again, of which a by-product is
> methane gas.
>
> As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you
> can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began
> to build up below decks and the first time someone
> came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
>
> Several ships were destroyed in this manner before
> it was determined just what was happening.
>
> After that, the bundles of manure were always
> stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them
> which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough
> off the lower decks so that any water that came into
> the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and
> start the production of methane.
>
> Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T." (Ship High In
> Transport) which has come down through the centuries
> and is in use to this very day.
>
> You probably did not know the true history of this
> word. Neither did I.
>
> I thought it was a golf term.
_____________________________________________________________________
Subject: To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1.. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At
Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their
Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get..
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have
a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your
Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let
One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK
WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. It's Called...THERAPY
Enjoy The Ride, Life is Short!!
____________________________________________________________________
> Subject: Innovative Supermarket Advancements
>
> A new supermarket opened near my house.
>
> It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce
> fresh. Just before it
> goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and
> the smell of fresh rain.
>
> When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows
> mooing and experience the
> scent of fresh hay.
>
> When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck
> and cackle, and the air
> is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs
> frying.
>
> The veggie department features the smell of fresh
> buttered corn.
>
> >
>
> I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
______________________________________________________________________
Subject: FW: Deodorant
I got this new deodorant today.
The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.
>
> Who Knew??? Manure - (defined)
> In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to
> be transported by ship and it was also before
> commercial fertilizer's invention, so large
> shipments of manure were common.
>
> It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a
> lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit
> it, it not only became heavier, but the process of
> fermentation began again, of which a by-product is
> methane gas.
>
> As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you
> can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began
> to build up below decks and the first time someone
> came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
>
> Several ships were destroyed in this manner before
> it was determined just what was happening.
>
> After that, the bundles of manure were always
> stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them
> which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough
> off the lower decks so that any water that came into
> the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and
> start the production of methane.
>
> Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T." (Ship High In
> Transport) which has come down through the centuries
> and is in use to this very day.
>
> You probably did not know the true history of this
> word. Neither did I.
>
> I thought it was a golf term.
_____________________________________________________________________
Subject: To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1.. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At
Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their
Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get..
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have
a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your
Lives! They're Loose!'
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let
One Of You Go.'
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK
WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile. It's Called...THERAPY
Enjoy The Ride, Life is Short!!
____________________________________________________________________
> Subject: Innovative Supermarket Advancements
>
> A new supermarket opened near my house.
>
> It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce
> fresh. Just before it
> goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and
> the smell of fresh rain.
>
> When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows
> mooing and experience the
> scent of fresh hay.
>
> When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck
> and cackle, and the air
> is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs
> frying.
>
> The veggie department features the smell of fresh
> buttered corn.
>
> >
>
> I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
______________________________________________________________________
Subject: FW: Deodorant
I got this new deodorant today.
The instructions said remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells awesome.
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